it's been so long and really long and i never once kept my word on how i'm gonna update "more often" :/
school's been really hectic.
no actually, i'm not gonna blame it on school.
it's me, myself. i'm just always neglecting what needs to be done.
and yeah, i mainly seriously only blog when i feel depressed and stuff.
and now...well, i'm not actually depressed now.
i'm just feeling really....empty.
So i spent the day at home, mainly because i wasn't feeling well and also mainly because i really just want to spend sometime alone thinking everything through.
like how "panda" says that i'm always over thinking. i think he's right. no, i know he's right. i'm just always over thinking :/ and i really hate that part of me.
okay, so, lately,
tbh, i've been really missing the past. i've told myself millions of times to stop living in the past, but sometimes, i just always end up wandering lost into space and back into the past. like, i can't help but remember them and have those flashbacks thrown at me. like, those memories, it made me smile. it was the time of my life where i could never ever forget. i mean, i met my first best friend there. i met this one really special person who still holds the same importance in my heart tho i no longer feel what i used to feel for him, but yeah, i met him. i met a lot of different people. i am who i am today because of those times. i'm the me right now because of those people i met. even though things have really drifted apart. it's been two years, but it feels like it's only been a few months. sometimes, it feels like i'm still living there and it's painful when reality punches me in the face and say "oh come on, stop dreaming! that's all the past! you're never gonna get that back!" well, yeah, memories. damn memories. just kept on lingering at the back of my mind. every damn time of the day. but those were good memories, so it's fine <3 like, those were really really good memories <3 that i would die for.
those times meant the world to me, like really. nothing could ever compare. nothing. literally nothing. i would do anything to get back to those times but sadly, no. i can't. time doesn't wait for anyone. time doesn't turn back. i just have to live with it and just be happy with what i have now. after all, i have "panda" and my awesome friends. :) so yeah, i'm pretty much happy and satisfied with all i have. and those friends, i'm glad i'm still in touch with them, most of them. at least those that are really really important to me <3 i'm just so glad they didn't forget me :)
there's really so much more to life than it seems. and life really is never as bad as it seems :)
i'm this really pessimistic bitch, so i rarely am optimistic, but i'm trying to change. i'm trying to always look at the brighter side of things. after all, there are "two sides to everything" :)
everyone's got their own different life stories, you can't compare yours to theirs. you go through different things. you experience different things. but one thing you should have in common is "enjoy the moment while it lasts. you never know when it may be gone".
don't go around judging people. it's not right, but it's what everyone do. even myself. but you know what, you can judge, just keep it to yourself. no one would ever have a clue what the hell you're thinking down there. just keep it and it won't harm anyone. the moment you open your mouth, there's always a chance that you're gonna hurt someone or even worse, you might hurt yourself.
i think i've written quite a lot ._. or maybe not ._. idk.
i'm gonna try to get start with my homework. i'm feeling good t'night :3
hehehehehehe <3
good night <3
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